It's been a whirlwind of two years. Two years exact. Two years in which I dove heart first, scared, excited and anxious. Two years in which I have never turned back missing the life I once had. Two years in which I have grown comfortable in my skin, discovered who I am (flaws, strengths and all) and learned that I cannot live a life without passion, drive and love. Two years ago, my story unfolded.
For those of you who do not know, I went to school to be a Structural Engineer. (I am slightly obsessed with architecture!) I spent a year after college working for an engineering firm in Kansas City as an engineer, however, I was not happy being behind a desk and calculating all day. 2009 was without a doubt a rollercoaster of a year. I was happy because I was engaged to my best friend. But, I felt lost professionally. I had too much on my plate. And, I grew very sick in the matter of six months and learned that I was to change my lifestyle. For good.
This rocked my world. As if that was not enough to battle out, two days later, I lost my job due to the lovely recession. I had hit rock bottom. And, there I was. Scared. Frustrated. And, more lost than ever. But, I had no idea what a blessing it was to be diagnosed a Celiac and lose my job in the same week. Because, now that I think about it, I realized, it was all part of His plan. His ever so amazing plan.
Photography for me has always been a part of my soul. I thank my dad for this one. He LOVES everything about photography, and after the
wait one more picture moments my dad did at Christmas or before I went to my Homecoming dance, he somehow imprinted my future with a camera in my hand, snapping life's little moments. But, it kicked in high gear when we met our wedding photographer,
Kelly Manno. She gave us some of the MOST beautiful engagement photos we had ever seen. They were fun, colorful and us being...us. And, all my creative loving heart could think when glancing through the photos with Bryan was how I wanted to do this for others. This is where my journey began.
I was unemployed at the time, and to not fall asleep at the computer job hunting all day, I would catch a post here and there from my favorite photography and design blogs. Being by myself, thoughts of
should I crept in my mind?
Should I really do this? I could fail. Is that worth the risk? I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Then, there was that one night. The one night where I introduced my crazy idea to Bryan and my good friend, Martha.
I want to be a photographer. Without missing a beat, they jumped on board. All I had was a Canon Rebel, the kit lens, a blog, my Macbook and Adobe Creative Suite (thanks to a very sweet co-worker). I had no idea how to use my machine of a camera, I was still learning a new operating system and let's just say when I opened Photoshop up for the first time, I got so scared, I did not open it for another week. Ok I lied...a month. But, I changed my attitude and started to do the one thing Bryan asked me to do from day one...I started to
believe in myself.
I read the manual and read blog after blog becoming more inspired by others' stories. I emailed photographers near and far and asked questions and made friendships. I blogged and blogged about random things and life. I went to the library and checked out
Scott Kelby's 7 Point System for Adobe Photoshop where I learned to not be afraid of Photoshop but fall more in love with it. And, I practiced photographing like there was no tomorrow thanks to my awesome husband. When the time came, I emailed some friends and asked them to spread the word about building my portfolio. In one week, my inbox was flooded with requests and people who also believed in me. Three months later, I was photographing five sessions a week and getting paid to do something I truly love. I realized I was living out an unknown dream.
Don't get me wrong. The past two years have not been cupcakes and cherry limeades. There are days when I want to kick my computer to the curb and not let it back in. There are days when work piles up and emails are unanswered, and I want to hide under our bed. There are days when I am up until midnight when I wish I was in bed snuggling and fast asleep with B. But, everyday, no matter how high that pile of work gets and the frustrations take over, I have never looked back. Because I could have chosen safe rather than risking everything. But, I didn't, and I am so grateful. For never looking back. Ever ever ever.
This journey has taught me so much about life. It has taught me to trust. Trust that there is a path. And, if you are willing to work hard, it will be SO worth it. I have learned to dream big. Bigger than my heart can understand. I have learned the true meaning of friendship. Through the ups and downs, the encouragement and
keep up the awesomeness emails, I have chosen to surround myself with positive people. I know that I have a LOT of learning to still do. Trust me. I am still figuring the "how tos" out. I now understand that successful and accomplished does not mean making a big paycheck. It is being proud, fulfilled and happy, which cannot be measured by any paycheck. I have learned that I do not need expensive equipment or conjure up this misconception about myself to be a good photographer. I just need to be myself. And, somehow my style and brand spoke for itself. My loud, loving, kind, driven, silly, passionate and creative self.
Bryan has said on more than one occasion something that always makes me stop and smile.
You did not find photography. Photography found you. I could not have said it any better! And, although my life is a crazy whirlwind right now, I am so happy to be doing everything I love and dreaming big with my best friend by my side. So, thank you to my friends who keep me going on some of my toughest days. Thank you to my clients turned friends who continuously believe in me and let me live out my passion. They are the ones who have encouraged me to take some big leaps of faith. Thank you to the amazing industry of photographers where I found mentors and friends who I can always turn to. Thank you to our families for making me smile daily. Especially my dad who gives me those Monday morning phone calls to say he is proud of me. Most of all, thank you to my amazing husband, B. It's one thing to encourage me. It's another thing to wake up every weekend at 7:30 in the morning to accompany me to sessions, be by my side to second shoot for weddings and to help me google how to write computer codes for my blog at one o'clock in the morning. Even more, thank you for peeling me off of my computer to relax, watch redbox movies and go on date nights with you. Without you, I probably would not be snapping beautiful people and be following my heart. And, in the words of one of my new favorite southern designers,
Emily Ley, thank you God "for writing my story even though I always try to take the pen." My heart is full of gratitude today.
(A picture that reminds me of where I am today. Happy and healthy! Taken in Sonoma, CA.)
Happy Tuesday!!!
