confessions and dreams

I hate admitting this. Or shall I say I hate confessing it. It is not something I am proud of, and I am trying to change it. Slowly. I am going to come out and say it. I am a workaholic. It just tasted like bitterness as I wrote it. But, it is the truth. It started in college when I would work on lab reports or structures homework a week in advance from its due date. Just because. And my friends? They thought I was crazy. And, I was. It grew after college working a full-time job, going to school part-time, planning a wedding and thinking about buying a house with Bryan. All at the SAME time. Now, it is spending sleepless nights editing, overworking myself with sessions and going to bed thinking about my "To Do" list for the next day. Yes, I think it is safe to say I am a workaholic. I always have been.

Last week I decided to fix this whole workaholic problem by making a schedule. Color-coded and everything. A schedule in which I work efficiently during the day, so I can enjoy my weeknights and weekend nights with Bryan, friends and family. Did I forget to mention I have a Type A personality? Ask anyone who knows me. They will not lie. I promise.

For all our hard work, sleepless nights and photo sessions coming out of our ears, Bryan and I decided to take last Friday afternoon off and go on a picnic. Complete with just the two of us, our favorite park, delicious snacks, a good book and some gorgeous fall weather.

As we laid out on our blanket and ate our snacks, we toasted with our wine glasses to life. And love. We got to talk. Just the two of us without our computers and TV.

When do you want to visit Europe? By the time we are 30 years old. What will the house we build look like? All brick with a big wrap-around white porch! Overlooking a lake. Our architect is going to be so intimidated in having to deal with two structural engineers. Do you miss home? All the time. Especially when we see how big Savannah has gotten. Who out of our friends will have a baby first? Kari and Andy. Duh. But after that, Susie and Sean probably. What do you want to do when we retire? Own a horse ranch or a vineyard and travel the world together. Maybe, I can photograph gorgeous, rustic architecture and attend art fairs along the way. What will we name our first pup? Pebbles. Or Bam-bam. Maybe we will have to rethink those names. Where could we give more of our time? Working with children who have had a rough time. I think it will help us become stronger parents. And, it will give them someone to confide in.

That is how our conversations went. Nothing about photography. Nothing about the tough situation we are put in right now. Nothing about hurt, pain or sadness. Just talking about our dreams.



This was my absolute favorite afternoon. Slash that. This was my absolute favorite day I have had since our wedding day. Just my best friend and I, our favorite park, a good book, a divine picnic and dreams.